This week I got through the next three chapters(3, 4 and 5) and I am feeling pretty good. I can most definetly see the benefits of all the work I have done over the last few years. It is nice to see how far I have come rather than always being focused on how much further there is to go!
Here are my thoughts on each chapter.
Chapter 3- Getting To Yes- Where chapter two was focused on the people and things in your life that bring out the worst, chapter three is about connecting with the people and things in your life that bring about joy. Chapters 2 and 3 go hand and hand. I wish I would have read them in one sitting. It would have made the weight on chapter 2 more tolerable.
The most important message for me from chapters 2 and 3 is learning to recognize what my body is telling me. Learning to quiet me mind and pay attention to the signals, both positive and negative, that my body is sending is the first and possibly most important step. I have improved this skill greatly over the last few years through meditation, journalling and exercise. I am much better at quieting that bossy social self today. Finding what helps to quiet the noise for you is crucial. It is different for everyone so my suggestioned would be to try lots of different things and then try them again. It may take repeated effort to get the hang of something. I know meditation was and is still that way for me!
Chapter 4- Just Because You're Paranoid Doesn't Mean Everybody Isn't Out To Get You- "The social self isn't opposed to your reaching your North Star, per se; it just won't allow you to proceed toward it until you get Everybody's. Actually, the social self would prefer that you don't do anything, anything at all, until Everybody kneels down and begs you to do it." (p.60) To me this quote sums up chapter 4 perfectly. It is all about the generalized other. It is so easy to take something one person said or implied and generalize those beliefs to "everyone". I know that this has been an issue for me in the past. I am much better at recognizing and stopping that seed before it is planted. If you struggle with this the exercises in chapter 4 and 5 might help you begin to recognize and then dismiss those thoughts.
Chapter 5-Getting Everybody On Your Side- Chapter 5 is a partner to chapter 4. In chapter 4 you are challenging the generalized other that keeps you from flourishing. In chapter 5 you are identifying the real people and environments the support you and then challenging yourself to fill your environment with them.
For me, the message of this book so far is to listen more to your body than the voices around you. Those voices may be coming from within you, a result years of programming tof what the ideal is, or from outside of you. Either way, I believe it is these voices that keep us from exploring and experimenting.
Hope you are getting something from this read. Please join in the Coffee Clutch to share your thoughts. I would love to hear them!