I have been in London this week visiting my daughter so my reading time has been limited, but I did get through the first 2 chapters. This is a re-read, but unfortunately my original copy has grown legs and walked away. It would have been nice to have the actual copy to do an exact comparison between then and now. I do have some idea of how I approached this information the first time around and I am happy to say I am definitely moving in the right direction. On first read I was not comfortable actually writing down answers to the exercises. I am not sure if that was out of fear or simply not knowing, most likely a combination. I can say that I believe this might be a book that a re-read every 5years just to check in with myself would be a good idea. At least that is what I am feeling two chapters in.
My "take aways" and thoughts so far:
I do find some of the language used to be dramatic. I feel that it is important when reading self-improvement to look for balance. I guess what I am trying to say is that life does not fit neatly into boxes. I believe it is important not to read it as a directive, but more suggestive. Ideas for you to consider and then apply to your individual situation.
For me there are 2 import ideas in chapter one.
The first being the idea of the essential self and the social self. I fell like I "get it" so much more during this read. The first read was very early on in my self-development journey and these were very new ideas, but now it makes so much sense to me. Your essential self is that part of you that has always been there. The things you enjoy and feel for no reason other than you do. Your motivation is totally internally driven. The social self is that conditioned side of you. The side that makes choices and decisions because of rules or fear. The social self is motivated outside of you. Taking an honest look at myself, most of my life the social self has been driving my bus. In the last few years I feel like there has definitely been a shift to a more, let's say, equal division of power between my essential and social selves. I also would like to go on record that I don't believe that your social self should every be completely eradicated. We need that side of us too. My goal is to have my essential self driving the bus and my social self to be the backseat driver keeping the balance.
The test on pages 14 and 15 is the second thing I would like to highlight . I believe that most of us do not think about these items, they are not a priority and taking the test brings them into our consciousness. It will give you a different perspective and tool to examine your life. I highly recommend taking the test even if it seems silly or weird to you.The messages being conveyed through the test is very reminiscent of Brene Brown's work. The work of Martha Beck and Brene Brown have been my go to information throughout my personal growth journey.
Chapter three is all about getting to know yourself. Beck goes through eight different physical and emotional responses, each giving clues to your emotional and social self. There are exercises provided for each. I found them very difficult. There is something about putting things in writing that is both powerful and frightening. I had to really push myself through this chapter, but I found it very insightful in the end. I think the key will be to learn to recognize what your body is trying to tell you in the moment so that you can be aware and make decisions that enhance your life. This is for sure a priority for me!
Well, those are my thoughts on the first two chapters. I would love to hear your thoughts.
What did you respond most strongly to?
Did you learn something new?
What do you want to work on?
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Hey Laura Lee! Hope you're enjoying a wonderful time in London and time spent with your daughter. Thank you again for recommending this book. Perfect timing in my life as my son is finishing up high school and my daughter is finishing college.
I agree that the language in this book is a bit "over the top" though I think the author's intention is to highlight that some of the issues that we face we build up in our own minds in such a way to be larger than they are, and if we take a few steps back and look through a different lens (perhaps with a bit of humor) we'll see those issues differently.
The essential self vs. social self discussion is a good one. Prompts me to examine the "why" behind my actions, and recognize that often I choose to do things not because it is my heart's desire but more because of societal expectation.
I agree that writing down responses was uncomfortable, and I resisted doing so initially. But I pushed myself to go back and write. Getting through Chapter 2 was a milestone as it made me take a closer look at things that I find difficult to explore and admit. The exercises in Chapter 3, have been much more uplifting and inspiring. Helps me to understand where I need to place more attention and intention.
Looking forward to more!
Enjoy London! ❤️